HN Reader

Man who threw sandwich at US border agent not guilty of assault

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While the old saying that a good DA/prosecutor could get a grand jury to indict a ham sandwich[0][1][2][3] may still be true, conviction is another matter. Which is, in all of this, probably the coldest cut of all.

[0] https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/indict_a_ham_sandwich

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sol_Wachtler

[2] https://history.nycourts.gov/biography/sol-wachtler/

[3] https://www.jdsupra.com/legalnews/a-grand-jury-would-indict-...

3 months agoby throw0101a

This is the good outcome; one note I had about this though is, per CNN:

    In one video taken from a police officer’s body-worn 
    camera, Dunn told the officer, “I was trying to draw 
    them away from where they were. I succeeded.”

Don't say things like this! He was acquitted of assault, but he admitted on camera to a violation of 18 USC 111. (How I know this is, a friend of mine who's a trustee for our suburb was just indicted for the same thing, not over a sandwich, but for slowing down an ICE employee's car).

3 months agoby tptacek

Per the NY Times, the jury deliberated for 7 hours. That seems like quite a long time for a simple case. I wonder what the hold-up was. They add,

"The jury determined that the launching of the 12-inch deli sandwich ... was not an attempt to cause bodily injury, preventing a conviction."

It seems like that couldn't have taken seven hours by itself.

https://www.nytimes.com/2025/11/06/us/politics/trump-sandwic...

3 months agoby mmooss

The assault claim didn't cut the mustard, leaving a stain on the agency's reputation.

3 months agoby sys32768

A nice affirmation of jury nullification - one of the last freedoms left in this country.

3 months agoby CGMthrowaway

So is Border Patrol Officer Greg Lairmore facing any charges for lying under oath?

3 months agoby bleeperbloop

Where has all the prosciutto gone

And where's the kosher salt?

Where's the fine-chopped rosemary leaves

to be a flavor catapult?

---

Isn't there some olive oil and sliced provolone cheese?

Slice up a large tomato

And a bell pepper that's been peeled

---

I need a hero, I'm holding out for a hero to snack on at night

It's gotta be long, and it's gotta be fast, and it's gotta be freshly on-site

3 months agoby atmavatar

Maybe the jury needed 7 hours to determine if the bread was stale enough to cause bodily harm. Perhaps the crime here is the waste of a perfectly good sandwich.

3 months agoby mmmBacon

A hero strikes a zero.

3 months agoby lapetitejort

Man who threw sandwich at US border agent not guilty of assault

…by twelve hangry men.

(Stolen from Fark)

3 months agoby reaperducer

The real crime is that the sandwich was probably like $16.

3 months agoby gdulli

You May Beat the Wrap, But You Can't Beat The Sub...

3 months agoby Der_Einzige

> The jury's verdict comes after Customs and Border Patrol agent Gregory Lairmore testified that the snack "exploded all over him" and he "could smell the onions and mustard" on his uniform. [...] "I could feel it through my ballistic vest," he said of the sandwich's impact, adding that an onion string hung from his police radio and mustard stained his shirt.

God, how horrifying. Maybe with time and intensive therapy he'll eventually be able to heal.

3 months agoby floren

So is Border Patrol Officer Greg Lairmore facing charges for lying under oath?

3 months agoby bleeperbloop

It was all bologna

3 months agoby mickle00

Battery?

3 months agoby TZubiri

The people of DC have spoken. There's nothing wrong with throwing sandwiches at strangers in their city.

3 months agoby lingrush4

For comparison, would throwing a sandwich at a vendor get you fired from your job?

Not for me, but it would be a blow to my reputation and might cost a relationship with the vendor (depending on the dollar value to the vendor). And I'd be very embarrassed.

3 months agoby mmooss

It seems like a double standard. If you approached a random member of the public that you didn't like the look of, shouted at them that you don't want them in your city and violently threw a soft object at them, you could easily be convicted of assault and receive some minor punishment. I think most people would accept that you should be. Should people have greater rights to assault policemen than other types of people? Or should assault be legal if the victim's workmates find it funny?

3 months agoby foxglacier